I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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