i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
