I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
