question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
