you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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