Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
