if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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