i just google imaged poop.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize