She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
