my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
