I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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