Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
