I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
