I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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