Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
