mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
