cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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