I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
