The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
