Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
