He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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