he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
In other news, I just burned my penis
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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