i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
