No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
