remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
