mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize