I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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