Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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