I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
