If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
