I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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