I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
