i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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