shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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