You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
