He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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