you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
