so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
