Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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