What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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