Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
