I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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