i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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