I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
