By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You were trust falling into bushes
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
