so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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