I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
