It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
please come you make the beer taste better
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
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