So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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