All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
