the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
