I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
