just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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