she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
