Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Randomize
