wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
