I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
