i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
