I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
