Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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