I can text with my tongue
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
