I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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