I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
