At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
