We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
