Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
