no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
