I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
