her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You made out with two different species that night
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
