Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
