Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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