You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
