Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
