God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
