Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize