Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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