Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
