isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
