He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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