Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
