I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize