I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
