Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
